Dude...you cuss like a lady.

I visited a local high school yesterday to attend a ceremony on behalf of a friend.  I found a seat among the parents and the student body filled the rest of the auditorium.  I knew from the onset that this was going to be one of those "challenging" situations.

The program began, and with it came the eruption of a certain young man's commentary who was seated directly behind me.  I tried to focus on the stage but he was speaking out in a way that was oblivious to the reason for the assembly and totally defiant of any consideration of others what so ever. 

I was seated next to a parent of one of the students participating on stage and as the young man and his friends continued to laugh, curse, degrade, and downgrade every student that walked on the stage, my mind was at war as to what I should do.  I kept telling myself that it was none of my business.  "Why should I be the "bad guy" and take up the cause?"  No one else seemed to care. 

I can take some childish foolishness.  I have a very dry sense of humor that can sometimes take me down the road of criticism too.  However, I have never heard such evil words coming from guys and girls in my life.  This girl next to him cursed (cussed) like no human I have ever heard.  Cussing girls make me very nervous.  They were calling the girls on stage: whores, stuck up, snobby...  They were using f-bombs, a-bombs, s-bombs, and any-bomb that fit into their spew of hatred.  They were speaking loudly and many of the parents and grandparents were turning around to look but each backward glance brought another wave of insolent jokes, jeers, and a queering defiance. 

The main guy was a bit sassy and that made it humorously more painful.  Part of me wanted to turn around and silence him with physical assault, but then I would have been led away in cuffs.  I prayed as to what to do as I feared their comments concerning my own personal friends on stage.  (My own friends?  I was already deeply troubled over the insults toward the students that I did not know personally.  Breath Eric...breath slowly.  What did Jesus do in situations like this?)

Finally it was over.  The parents were smiling.  The principal was smiling.  Everybody was happy except the 10-20 people who had been taken hostage by 6 students.  I was exhausted.  I stood up and turned to the young man.  I stuck my hand out and introduced myself.  I asked him his name and was met with great apprehension.  His friends began to laugh and tell me his name but he finally looked at me and told me. 

I was kind to all of them and told them how "sorry" I felt for them.  They did listen as I encouraged them to think about what had taken place.  I recounted their remarks and their personal resentment towards 90% of those students who received an award. The "cussing girl" sat back down as I held her arm and told her that she could do "better" than this.  I looked at them for a moment and walked away. 

I didn't do anything profound.  The sky didn't break open.  None of them apologized.  A few of the "fringe girls" denied any wrongdoing.  I suspect they probably shared some humor at my expense.  So what. 

I have committed to pray for this young man by name.  I pray that he has a father who will beat his butt from time to time and help him walk a better path.   I'm afraid that the paternal guidance that this boy needs is too late.  However, Jesus always has a plan. 

You and I are a lot like the sassy boy, cussing girl, and fringe girls.  We can all be tempted to express our defiance, cover up our own inadequacies, and hide our pain at the expense of others.  Something about making fun of others in a destructive way makes ourselves feel more important.  Curse words are an attempt to make our statements shockingly important.  "Notice me." "I am somebody."  "I don't care about what's important to you.  It's stupid". 

I may turn this event into a screenplay.  A Monday night movie about Sassy Boy, Cussing Girl, and Fringe Girls.  We could introduce new characters such as: Pony Boy, Angry Old Man, and Maverick.  Starring: Adam Sandler, Rozanne Barr, and the Olsen Twins.  It could be great.

Comments

[Debra Graybeal]

Eric, This is something that hits home to me in a personal way. It used to make me sick to my stomach in high school to hear the filthy language every day, all day long. It still does when I'm around it. Thank you for being an example to those kids. I'm so proud of you, and I pray that God will give me the courage to do the same the next time I'm in that type of situation around kids or adults.